i am a self-taught bumper sticker artist who has been rejected by the main stream bumper sticker art establishment.

vinyl, weatherproof. apply to bumper. shipping is $3.00 flat, free from $24.00 up, united states only for now. orders go out once a week, on tuesdays.

Black and white bumper sticker that reads "Follow me to Nirvana," over typewritten praise for Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and the city of Rajneeshpuram, next to a ring of circles, with "Sitting in a car you are not needed to do anything, you are simply sitting" along the bottom.
i. Rajneesh Roundup $10.00

I have recently come into possession of a trove of Rajneesh materials from a trusted source in Antelope. (I met him in a Discord group for World of Warcraft addicts.) It's said Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh himself had these on several of his prized Rolls Royce and soon you can have it on your 2011 Subaru Forester that's had it's check engine light on for months. 10x3 vinyl sticker.

coming soon

Black and white bumper sticker that reads "Nature is dying!!" over typewritten text about poisoned rivers, oceans and lakes and ecology as the whole wheel, with "The city of Rajneeshpuram; my welcome to you, America's first enlightened city" in a box along the bottom.
ii. The Earth is Doing Fine $10.00

This sticker was never released due to declining sentiments towards the Rajneeshees, possibly motivated by increasing American religious intolerance or their 1984 bio-terror attack in The Dalles. But they knew a thing or two about the environment. 10x3 in vinyl bumper sticker.

coming soon

Pink bumper sticker that reads "I lost my virginity at the Lloyd Center. Keep Portland history alive!"
iii. Lloyd Center Memorial $10.00 $8.00

In loving memory of the city's best Pedalpalooza parking garage stop. 8x2.4 in vinyl sticker. Weather resistant.

Bumper sticker that reads "I peed in the pool at the Kennedy School and I'm NOT sorry! Only in Portland, Oregon," next to a steaming soaking pool with a yellow swirl in it.
iv. Kennedy School Pee Party $10.00 $8.00

The water is warm because of me and I'm not going to apologize. 8x2.4 vinyl sticker.

Green and orange bumper sticker with psychedelic scrollwork that reads "Do it in a HiAce. Your living saloon!"
v. HiAce Living Saloon $10.00 $8.00

Portland, OR has the highest number of imported Japanese vans per capita. While folks tell you they buy them for offroading their real use is a mobile shaggin wagon. 8x2.4in bumper sticker.

Black and white bumper sticker that reads "I got stabbed at the Oregon City Municipal Elevator. A city that lifts your up!" between two drawings of the elevator tower.
vi. Oregon City Elevator $10.00 $8.00

Oregon City has the only municipally owned elevator in the United States. I was also stabbed inside it. 8x2.4 in vinyl sticker.

Yellow bumper sticker in Celtic lettering that reads "The Unipiper owes me child support. Your son needs braces not bagpipes."
vii. Unicyclist Drama $10.00 $8.00

Some people are so caught up in the flaming bagpipes they don't see the unicyclist beneath. And he's hot. 8x2.4in vinyl sticker.

Yellow bumper sticker that reads "There are mole people living in the water towers. They're up there listening to Alanis Morissette's Jagged Little Pill on repeat," with a water tower circled in red.
viii. Water Towers $10.00 $8.00

Portland's famous water towers are more than just beautiful, they're homes to the mysterious mole people.

Bumper sticker that reads "Even cops don't eat Voodoo Donuts. Only in Portland, Oregon. Support real local bakeries," with a cartoon donut dressed as a police officer.
ix. Portland's Worst Donuts $10.00 $8.00

Just go to Doe Donuts. Okay? It's worth it. 8x2.4in vinyl bumper sticker.

Bumper sticker that reads "In this car we root for the bull at the annual Sisters Rodeo. America's finest display of yee-haw nihilism!" with a cartoon bull throwing its rider.
x. Sisters at the Rodeo $10.00 $8.00

That bull dream of freedom the same way you crave social media likes. We respect it. We honor it. 8x2.4in vinyl sticker.

Brown bumper sticker that reads "Don't honk at me! I've got irritable bowel syndrome (and a gun!)"
xi. No Honking $10.00 $8.00

I'm driving fast so I don't shit my pants. You're driving fast because it's fun. We're built different. 8x2.4in vinyl sticker.

Bumper sticker that reads "This car climbed Mt. Tabor. Only in Portland, Oregon," with a waving cartoon mountain.
xii. Mt. Tabor $10.00 $8.00

I don't know why people think a Wednesday night is the time to be dancing in the road, but by god I wasn't going to let those hippies stop me from getting to the top. I was disappointed that no one celebrated my achievement so I made this sticker for myself. Wear it proud. 8x2.4in vinyl sticker.

Yellow bumper sticker that reads "Dillon T. Pickle owes me child support. You can't keep saying he's not yours. You're the only pickle I've ever made love to," with two crying pickles.
xiii. Pickle Lovers $10.00 $8.00

My mom told me he was a sour guy, but he tasted sweet like bread and butter. 8x2.4in vinyl sticker.

Bumper sticker that reads "Make the bread spin faster" next to the bakery building with the loaf of bread sign on its roof.
xiv. Bread Dreams $10.00 $8.00

Austin stood across the street, breathing in the scent of freshly baked bread on the cool autumn breeze. The street lights cast him in a warm light. His eyes were fixed on the slowly rotating bread. He knew what he had to do it. It had to go faster. 8x2.4 vinyl sticker.

Bumper sticker that reads "My other car is a burnt out RV parked on Marine Drive," with a snail, flowers and a rainbow.
xv. My Other Car $10.00 $8.00

Having a second car in these uncertain economic times is pretty impressive, even if it has minor fire damage and is parked on the side of the road permanently. 8x2.4in vinyl sticker. (Note: orders with this item will ship in early October.)

Bumper sticker that reads "Ted Wheeler ran over my dog and all I got is this bumper sticker," with a cartoon peach.
xvi. Ted Wheeler Did This $10.00 $8.00

Legally speaking, this is a parody sticker. It is a not a true story that politician Ted Wheeler ran over my Golden Retriever on Ankenny and then handed me this sticker from a large stack he keeps in his glove compartment. 8x2.4in vinyl sticker. (Note: orders containing this sticker will ship in early October.)

Yellow bumper sticker that reads "Centennial Mills was an inside job."
xvii. Centennial Mills Conspiracy $10.00 $8.00

Don't let the fat cats at city hall convince you otherwise. That mill was made of space age steel and a fire could never have brought it down. 8x2.4 vinyl sticker. (Note: orders containing this sticker will ship in early October.)

Blue bumper sticker in yellow capitals that reads "The Timbers Army violated the Geneva Conventions and I can prove it."
xviii. Timbers War Crimes $10.00 $8.00

It has taken me many years to gather it but I have the evidence now. The 107 is not what it seems and the only way I can share the truth is through this sticker. 8x2.4in vinyl sticker. (Note: orders with this item will ship in early October.)

Orange sunburst bumper sticker that reads "I bought this bumper sticker instead of paying my art tax," with a cartoon paint palette.
xix. Art Tax Evasion $10.00 $8.00

Portland's number 1 crime is art tax evasion. Participate in this honorable tradition by buying this sticker instead of paying yours. 8x2.4 vinyl sticker. (Note: orders with this item will ship the first week of October.)

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